Ok so I suppose I should explain, I have set this up for somewhere I can be me, I have a huge amount of change going on in my life and a number of people who can only talk about the negative of every decision I make... then you have all my plans which have gone... what comes after pear shaped?? Plus I miss my nightly check ins with SHMBO (I would email her nightly with whatever was on my mind from the day) so I figured I'd do them anyway but just for me... they are here coz I have been here stalking Frugal Queen for a while... :-)
Anyways, more details about me & my life to follow at a later date - but for now the last 3 nights ramblings...
17.08.12
Well at least it was a half day at work today... still bugger all to do... and with the addition of the new staff from the company they have bought (who start with us next month) I am hugely worried for my job... They just need to keep going till next Feb/March... I have to stay in work till then.
There is no other news really... Feeling a little lost and at sea at the moment... and bratiness seems to be getting me nowhere!
18.08.12
I have no words for how hurt and upset I am today. SHMBO & Whatnot came to help me move the last of my stuff from my ex's... I have no idea what was up with SHMBO but she was damn rude! I was expecting to have to appologise for my ex's behaviour towards them, instead I had to apologise to my ex for her behaviour! *sighs* Well it's the last time I will accept help from them.
AND to top it off my mother will be coming over tomorrow to help me move the rest of it coz there is staill another car load to move - i didn't dare mention bit today as someone obviously had somewhere else she would rather be!
I am grateful for their help, if only coz I now have my microwave back!! But... and maybe I am being unreasonable here, I would like to be able to rely on my friends to behave civilly around my other friends... even if it was my ex! I'm the only one allowed to be pissy with my ex!
19.08.12
So today was D day at least as far a MB goes... and it bothered me less than I thought it would... or not less but completely differently... and I am glad for her and will keep my fingers crossed
In other news I spoke to SWMBO today... and I wimped out of asking her about Saturday. People who know me well laugh when I tell them I hate confrontation and arguements, I have to be completely comfortable with someone before I trust them enough to risk pissing them off... and even then I struggle to be completely open about how I feel...
Mother came over and we moved the final car load from my ex's, my sittingroom is now box central and I appear to have lost the sofa!! Yet more sorting to be done!
I am still feeling very alone, which is silly I guess seeing as I have MB & SHMBO who check in on me (via Skype) every/most days, and I have work people and a few others I could call on if I needed them and I have the dogs, and my Mother... I think I just need the sensation of another person sometimes, someone to curl up with (although not in this heat!) and to laugh with and to be vunerable with... someone to hold me and tell me everything will work out the way it supposed to.
Anyways, back to work tomorrow... I hope there is something to do!
G'night
x
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